Business Insider – Lissette Calveiro, who is now 26 years old, moved to New York from Miami for an internship in 2013 and said she felt like she was living the “Sex and the City Dream.”
But while her life on Instagram might have looked glamorous thanks to never-ending brunches, expensive outfits and holidays, she was struggling financially.
“I was living above my means. I was living a lie and debt was looming over my head.”
“If you break it down, a lot of the travel I was doing in 2016 was strictly for Instagram.”
The Long Con
Lissette Calveiro, you silly silly little genius. Sure, you bankrupt yourself trying to get Instagram famous, but doesn’t everybody do that at one point or another in their lives? We’ve all been deep in the aisles of Primark before trying to decide if an 8th Hanukkah-themed onesie is really necessary when you’re not even Jewish. I get it. Shooters shoot. Can’t knock your hustle on that one. What I’m really impressed with here is your PR spin.
I mean, yes, you probably spent the majority of the last 3-4 years eating canned beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You probably have been using an old goodwill t-shirt as a pillowcase. Something with a really obscure college name on it. For some reason, you strike me as a Middle Tennessee State Blue Rider kind of gal. For the last 4 Valentine’s Days, Christmases and birthdays you probably got your boyfriend one of those home-made coupon books. You know, the ones where you promise things you will never deliver on like always cleaning your hair out of the shower drain or one weekend of free, uninterrupted guy time, or oral sex.
But I’ll be damned if it wasn’t all worth it. All the struggle, all the hardship, all the years of using an old dish rag you stole from the cleaning crew at your local Subway as toilet paper; it was all worth it.
The Setup
According to this article, all of your careful financial planning afforded you the opportunity to travel the world and see exotic foreign lands like Los Angeles and Las Vegas. And yeah, $10,000 in debt might seem like a lot to some, but can you really put a price tag on Instagram follower…?
Now, I’ve always been a fan of the long-con. There is nothing on this beautiful place we call Earth that I love more than a well-executed plan that comes together after years in the making. And you, Lissette Calveiro, you, my friend, just pulled off the long-con of the century.
“Ohh, look at me, I bankrupted myself buying $1000 tickets to Austin so I could use a Snapchat geo-tag.”
“Ahh, if I was ever caught dead in the same outfit twice on Instagram I just literally couldn’t even anymore.”
“I’m 26-years-old and have lived in New York and Miami on an intern salary and spent all of my money traveling for IG and for some reason I don’t entirely understand I am broke as shit.”
Dropping the Proverbial Instagram Hammer
Well well well… how the turns have tabled. The foot’s on the other shoe now, because Lissette Calveiro is a bonafide star.
On March 3, 2018 her little sob story was published in the New York Post. It was later shared in Business Insider, Bravo TV, The Daily Mail, Cosmo and I’m sure some others I’ve never even heard of before. At the time of the initial publishing, the post mentions that Lisette has 12K followers on Instagram. As of writing this post…
SHE HAS 32K!!
Leak one little bankruptcy story to the press and all of a sudden she doubles her following overnight. Years of being an Instagram-baller, but real-life broke all led to this one moment. She held her cards as long as she could just waiting for the perfect time to pounce. And, ohhh baby, did she ever pounce.
I Think I’m in Love
Lissette, you little minx, you. Bankrupting yourself just to get featured in Business Insider?! It’s so fucking diabolical and crazy that it turns me on. It’s so hot I can’t even stand it. Taking on $10K in debt for the headline of a lifetime and more than doubling your following basically overnight.
This chick is destined for stardom. I wouldn’t be shocked if this little stunt doesn’t lead to a reality show (or at least an appearance on The Bachelor), a 6-figure ad deal and a line of her own custom leggings. They’ll be jet black and just like any other yoga pants, but will probably sell for $99.99, plus shipping and handling. That will just be the start, though. A full clothing line called “The Bankrupt Booty” is sure to follow.
A stunt this devious, this diabolical, deserves to be recognized.
Lissette Calveiro is a star in the making and I, for one, cannot wait to hitch my wagon to her very expensive, designer coat tails.
So, with that, I ask to you…
Lissette, will you go out with me?