12 cities. 12 months.

(views from my apartment in Croatia)

Threw some underwear in a bag and moved to Croatia. Over the course of the next year I’ll be living in a different international city every month with 60-something other strangers through a program called Remote Year.

I leave behind in Boston some pretty awesome friends & family, the majority of my wardrobe and a dozen or so bars that refuse to let me enter. I started this site mostly as a way so that my parents could make sure I hadn’t been taken by Colombian drug lords, but now that I’ve started I figure others can find value, or maybe humor, in what’s sure to be a year of mishaps and adventure for one of the least savvy travelers you’ll ever meet.

And since my departure falls squarely between the NFL and NBA draft it seems only fitting we evaluate the cities I’ll be living in and provide a few bold predictions for each. Here they are in order of travel:

Split, Croatia 

Positives: entire city is on the coast, trampolines everywhere, beers are like 10⍧

Negatives: mayo goes on everything, limited English, trees block the view of the beach from my balcony (unacceptable, really)

Prediction: this is the first stop on a year-long journey. Going to wet the beak a bit, but really try to feel out the scene in month one. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. I probably take a trip somewhere by myself and get dangerously lost.

Prague, Czech Republic 

Positives: escaped Communist rule (got to tip your cap there), boat parties, highest per capita rate of beer consumption in the world

Negatives: tourist scams run rampant (only one negative, but it’s a HUGE one)

Prediction: I’ve settled in at this point and get a little too comfortable giving my passport to an “undercover” police officer. He runs away with it…

Valencia, Spain 

Positives: beautiful weather, beautiful beaches, beautiful women

Negatives: I burn easily

Prediction: I ask every stranger in Spain to put sunscreen on my back. Make a few new friends, still get toasted.

Belgrade, Serbia 

Positives: strictly meat and potatoes diet (same), people are loud (again, same), top-rated nightlife, sweatsuits are mandatory attire

Negatives: pickpockets, people drink coffee like crazy (I have a mini heart attack if I drink coffee), landlocked

Prediction: I land an Under Armour contract at this point and confuse the locals with my foreign windpant grey suit.

Sofia, Bulgaria 

Positives: basically invented the bagpipes

Negatives: shaking your head “no” actually means “yes”

Prediction: “Sir, would you like a dance?”

*Shakes head no*

“Sir, your dancer. That’ll be 500,000 Lev.”

Marrekesh, Morocco

Positives: outdoor markets everywhere, street food is the best food, bright colors

Negatives: It’s BYOTP with Moroccan toilets, nothing is free, they can spot tourists from a mile away

Prediction: End up with some bizarre henna tattoo that I never asked for

Buenos Aires, Argentina

Positives: cheap steaks, birthplace of tango (maybe this is where I learn to dance), THE CHILL POPE USED TO BE A BOUNCER AT A BUENOS AIRES NIGHT CLUB

Negatives: oldest subway system in Latin America (you ever ride the T in Boston?)

Prediction: I eat a little too much steak, drink a little too much wine and walk around the city demanding to see the pope

Cordoba, Argentina

Positives: center for arts and education, life moves slow

Negatives: center for arts and education (I’m not exactly a budding intellectual)

Prediction: I continue eating steaks at an alarming rate and spend my first-ever Christmas in the summertime

Lima, Peru

Positives: Machu. Picchu. Ceviche is all the hotness

Negatives: drink of choice is brandy (I don’t really know what brandy is, but I know I don’t like it), everybody uses cash

Prediction: I lose more money than I should because I can’t do conversion rates in my head. Get altitude sickness along the Inca Trail

Medellin, Colombia

Positives: some of the most welcoming people in the world, cheap flights from US (someone come visit), don’t need to know Spanish (phew)

Negatives: very few veggies (at this point in the trip I think I’m going to need something green), history of drugs and violence (I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t on my mind)

Prediction: Start doing Pablo Escobar impressions while I’m drinking. It doesn’t end well.

Bogota, Colombia

Positives: have some family there (my pasty white skin wasn’t a dead giveaway for Colombian?), grid system! (first place I won’t get lost), you can drink in the grocery store (I’ve been pitching this idea for years. Get drunk while buying your food)

Negatives: weather isn’t seasonal, relentless in offering shots of “fire water” (boozy licorice), “tolerance zones” exist where prostitution is legal

Prediction: Have a little too much fire water and end up collecting a handsome sum for my services in the “tolerance zone”

Mexico City, Mexico

Positives: TACOS! I know the swear word “Chingar!” Tequila is sipped not shot (not sure if this is better or worse)

Negatives: tap water is no bueno, “Tourist tax” is a real thing

Prediction: Spend my days playing street soccer with the locals and my nights asking for Coronas even though I know that’s probably an American thing